Are You Doing Self Care without Being Self Caring ?

Meditate.  Yoga.  Take a walk.  Have a nap.  Read.  Light some candles.  Drink some tea.

These are just a few of the hundreds, maybe thousands of things someone can do as “self care” exercises.  Self care is defined simply as doing something you enjoy for no other reason but to show appreciation to yourself.

It’s a great thing, and extremely necessary because people don’t do enough for themselves.

However, self care exercises can easily become another spoke on the wheel of anxiety and judgement. 

Why Using the Word “Should” Creates Expectation, Judgement, Stress (and possibly mental health issues)

You should.   We should.   They should.   I should….

Should – used to indicate obligation, duty, or correctness, typically when criticizing someone’s actions.

The word “should” denotes an expectation. Families should have children.  Children should learn and grow according to the recommended timelines. Parents should send their children to the best schools and enroll their children in physical activities.  Young people should go to college.  Everyone should get a job.  You should save money to buy a house.  You should save money for retirement.  We should spend money to boost the economy.

Is this word really damaging though?

When Compassion Casts a Shadow – The Dark Side of Caring (blog 3 of 3)

In the first blog of this series, I wrote about what compassion fatigue is and the factors that make caring industries at risk for compassion fatigue.  You can read that blog here: https://auraecoaching.ca/2017/11/13/when-compassion-casts-a-shadow-the-dark-side-of-caring-blog-1-of-3/

In the second blog of this series, I discussed how compassion fatigue can progress into abuse and cruelty, as well as briefly defined the difference between the two. You can read that blog here: https://auraecoaching.ca/2017/11/18/when-compassion-casts-a-shadow-the-dark-side-of-caring-blog-2-of-3/

This, the third and final blog of this series is about how my own personal and professional experiences helped erode my compassion to the point where I was capable of abuse and cruelty.

When Compassion Casts a Shadow – The Dark Side of Caring (blog 2 of 3)

In the first blog of this series, I defined compassion fatigue and the factors that make caring industries at risk for compassion fatigue.   You can read that blog here: https://auraecoaching.ca/2017/11/13/when-compassion-casts-a-shadow-the-dark-side-of-caring-blog-1-of-3/

This blog is going to briefly discuss how compassion fatigue can progress into abusive and cruel behaviour, as well as define the difference between the two.

When Compassion Casts a Shadow – The Dark Side of Caring (blog 1 of 3)

When people hear about abuse or cruelty in a workplace that cares for others, they are absolutely horrified. How does this happen? How do these people even get hired to work in a profession where they are expected to care for others? What makes someone so deranged? Then if you read the replies and comments, there is the barrage of emotionally charged threats and death wishes directed towards the perpetrators.

Stop “Doing More” to Be Happier

I have my entire life tried to “do more”.  I wanted to read novels before I knew all the letters in the alphabet.  Over achiever right here!  I strived for perfection because I was led to believe that is how one becomes successful.  I wanted to get into college, get a career in veterinary medicine and make a good living.  I had a list of goals: become an RVT, get a car, get a Rottweiler, get married and buy a house.  Those were my goals.  By 2006 I had completed college, became an RVT and was driving around in my car with my Rottweiler puppy and my future husband.  In 2010 we bought our house.

How to Achieve a Successful Life – for FREE!

What is success?

Most literally, success is simply the accomplishment of an aim or purpose. (Google Dictionary)

Success comes and goes, and our own versions of success can change as time goes on. Everyone’s version of success will always be unique.  When someone feels successful personally, others may still judge them as unsuccessful only because their version of success is different.

Some people feel success is tangible, like a new car or a better paying job.  Others will argue success is intangible, like the fulfillment people feel that comes from helping others, such as volunteering.

There are positives and negatives to both sides.

When did Fear become the other “F” word?

October is the season of ghosts, ghouls, and Halloween.  However there seems to be an even scarier entity out there that no one can escape from, and that is the emotion of fear.

Fear and anxiety seem to be at an all-time high.  What’s going on with us? Why can’t people cope with life anymore? Have we gone soft?  Is the world more stressful than it was during our parent’s generation?  Is being fearful such a bad thing?

Should your workplace have a bio-hazard symbol on the front door ? Coping with toxic workplace aurae.

What are “aurae”?  What is workplace aurae?

Aurae is plural for aura. An aura is a distinctive atmosphere or quality that seems to surround and be generated by a person, place or thing (dictionary.com).  Simply, the aura is the “vibe” that someone gets when in the vicinity of someone else.

Do you know someone who has that contagious laugh, someone that can always put you in a good mood ?  Or maybe you know someone who does the opposite, has the ability to turn everyone around them sour and bitter without even making eye contact?

Aurae can be positive or negative, and they can be influenced by other aurae very easily.

All workplaces have aurae too.  This is influenced by the employees as well as the physical work environment.  Once a single person becomes disgruntled, negativity can quickly spread across a company to every level, creating an aurae that is so noxious that a company’s OHS manual should include Hazmat suits.